Bean Griddle Cakes

Kristen started a great collaborative cooking blog and I totally crashed it and begged her to let me talk about beans. She said yes. Read my bean and cookbook rave here.

Barter

I recently discovered the barter section of Craigslist. In that section I found a non-drinking family who was given a bottle of 1998 Dom Perignon as a gift. Who doles out once in a lifetime champagne without researching whether or not the recipients are teetotalers? A strange situation that I believe one encounters only in classes above my own. Lucky break for me though, I offered a family portrait session and they accepted. It was not exactly a fair trade since my services are not even remotely worth the $175 + that the champagne is. On the other hand, they did cram 3 families into one session so maybe it evened out. At any rate I'm not arguing. And I'm not saving it for years for the perfect occasion as I usually do. A 3 year anniversary seems to me to be the perfect occasion and that's coming up this spring.

Filing...

...is always, always an issue. It's crucial to organization and living life smoothy and basically being an adult since that state somehow comes with loads of important paperwork. Yet it's a total drag. Paying the bills is exhausting enough, the last thing we want to do is unearth the file boxes from the dark front hall closet and cram endless pieces of paper into their slots. So the papers pile up and we forget what's in the pile and then I respond late to my jury summons and it's a mess and I don't just mean the pile of paper (on the bright side, when we finally sorted this stack, we discovered a hefty check we didn't even know our escrow account, whatever that is, refunded us!)

I've thought long and hard about how to make filing if not fun at least easier. I thought if we had some kind of file cabinet/furniture out around the house we might be more inclined to pull open a drawer and deal with stuff as it comes. But if you've ever tried shopping for file cabinets you know the beautiful ones cost two months worth of grocery budget, and the ugly ones are so ugly they're only fit to be shoved in a closet and then we're back in the original predicament. But something had to be done about the stacks of paper around our house. So we improvised.

An antique dairy crate was $10, casters were $10, matchy green file folders were $4 and we have a new file box.


It sits out in the open, because it's cute, and right by Zeb's chair where the finances and 'dealing with stuff' happens.

The mundane made beautiful. We have no excuse to put off filing now, may we never deal with cluttery stacks of paper again.

The New Year's Goals Post

Well boy howdy did I need that break. Three weeks ago I was contemplating giving up on this whole graduate school endeavor so battered I was by the end of the first semester. I felt out of touch with friends and myself, exhausted and discouraged. And here a few wonderful weeks later I'm refreshed, regrouped and ready to start again. I cooked incessantly from my favorite new cookbook (thanks Ax!) and organized and entertained and sold clothes and bought new clothes and got a haircut (11 inches!) and went on some wonderful dates and celebrated holidays and read novels (see above) and played with new Christmas toys (Photoshop!) and held babies for hours. My sister asked, a few days ago, if I'd gotten ahead on my reading over the break and I realized I had never even considered spending my break on advance homework. All I wanted to do was rest and have fun. And I did. I soaked up rest and fun. Tonight, facing the prospect of school starting tomorrow, I'm not panicked, I'm ready and even excited.

I took a lot of time to think, in the last few weeks about why I'm doing all this and what I want out of life and run through alternate scenarios in my head to test out whether or not I'd be happier with something else. Aside from realizing happiness is mostly something I choose rather than something that happens to me, I've pretty much decided I'm right where I want to be. That's a funny thing to decide at the beginning of a year where I'm supposed to be cataloguing a list of changes to implement starting January 1. I've done that in the past, but this year I didn't feel the need for the fresh start that I have in the past. I feel the need to persevere in the goals I've already set, to keep working toward them with a cheerful attitude and diligence. Aside from small things such as learn to sail and really truly this time start doing yoga, I set goals instead of resolutions. Actually, the boy and I set goals together because it's all a team effort anyway. They're things like paying off debt by June and then rebuild our savings, by the end of the year be living on one income, and get me degreed. They're big picture goals but they've got us so excited for the possibilities ahead, and where we might be one year from now. We're ready to hunker down, eat lentils, work hard and relish it all with our goals in mind. So there you go, two diary-like entries in a row. I'll post something more characteristically trite tomorrow.

Christmas

It's Christmas but for my purposes it might as well be Thanksgiving. Or a combination of the two. I'm thankful and I'm committed. The details are fuzzy, but both are to God, I know that.

It almost seems, lately, the more fuzzy the details the more firm the basics, though of course what's considered a basic is a fuzzy detail. But I can never get out of my head and heart, no matter how much Cartesian doubt I employ, that there is a God and it's his side I want to be on, whatever that means. I'm hoping that 'want' counts for a lot in his book.

I can also not deny that my grievances against the world, others, myself and therefore ultimately God, are disproportionate and unjust. No matter what one lacks in relation to the world, others or self (and even the relatively rich in these lack, relatively) it could always, always be worse. If I can ever get myself to truly realize that then the beautiful flip-side is thankfulness.

Christmas, I suppose, is a chance to remember, re-commit and thank. There's a deep contentment in that whenever I can do it.

Blizzard '09

I'm back! I finished school a few days ago (I wouldn't say with flying colors, but at least I finished) and we weathered a weekend blizzard and Christmas gifts are almost in line (I even managed a few handmade gifts) and we had company (Val and her BF) over for the first time since this summer and we're in full holiday mode now.


This school term kind of wreaked havoc on our lives. I have not done laundry for a month, have hardly seen my local friends and haven't called my long distance ones, haven't filed any papers since August and there's a stack on my desk to prove it, I haven't cooked anything, in short I haven't kept up on any of the little mundane details that I've grown to love so much (laundry excepted). Zeb has been a trooper househusband, never once complaining and in fact apologizing if I ever feel the urge to clean the bathroom that he didn't get to it first. But I miss those things like sweeping and writing letters and hosting dinners. When did I become so domestic? Don't get me wrong I love the philosophizing that took over my life, but I wish it didn't have to take over to the exclusion of all else.

I must confess I'm a bit worried about next semester. The work will be more difficult, and yet nothing else in my life can give way any more than it already has yet somehow I'll be needing more hours in the day.

I'm trying to not worry about it, and trust that the resources will be there when I need them. In the meantime I'm going to relax hard, play in the snow, make eggnog and chicken liver pate for Christmas, hold babies who've changed so much I barely recognize them, and read M.F.K. Fischer instead of Freud.

And Happy Thanksgiving!

I'm sure it's obvious - I'm stressed. I wish I were as jolly as a jar of Lebedik Lollies. But my nails are nubbins. That hasn't happened for years.

Last week included 3 family portrait sessions, a headshot session with an opera singer from Boston, and shooting an Upsherin ceremony - today I completed one major exam for school, tomorrow we travel to Ohio for an epic family Thanksgiving, next week brother and sister come to camp out in our living room while I work on a Descartes term paper, all while continuing normal work hours and a regular school load don't even get me started about all those handmade Christmas presents I was going to make. I know better than to complain - almost everything in my life is there because of my choosing but have I mentioned before I'm a complainer by nature? So complain I do. And Zeb just makes me tacos and cleans the bathroom and I'll shut up now and eat tacos and maybe be back next week to complain some more.