Christmas

It's Christmas but for my purposes it might as well be Thanksgiving. Or a combination of the two. I'm thankful and I'm committed. The details are fuzzy, but both are to God, I know that.

It almost seems, lately, the more fuzzy the details the more firm the basics, though of course what's considered a basic is a fuzzy detail. But I can never get out of my head and heart, no matter how much Cartesian doubt I employ, that there is a God and it's his side I want to be on, whatever that means. I'm hoping that 'want' counts for a lot in his book.

I can also not deny that my grievances against the world, others, myself and therefore ultimately God, are disproportionate and unjust. No matter what one lacks in relation to the world, others or self (and even the relatively rich in these lack, relatively) it could always, always be worse. If I can ever get myself to truly realize that then the beautiful flip-side is thankfulness.

Christmas, I suppose, is a chance to remember, re-commit and thank. There's a deep contentment in that whenever I can do it.