The Banshee Tree

The state of my tumblr versus my blog is a pretty good indication of my inner life these days. The blog that's supposed to be for informing friends and family of goings-ons, and for sharing interests and inspirations is pretty blank. And the tumblr, full of my useless web wanderings and my endless wishlist is still alive and kicking. I've got the gimmees, I've got the oughts, and I've got hardly anything done lately.

The last few months have been hard. The good news is that we've installed wonderful renters into our dated little Idaho home, but only after half a year of paying its expensive mortgage, utilities, repairs and yard work bills in addition to our own expensive historic district rent and bills. The toll on our credit card and lifestyle has been quite staggering and frankly, I'm tired of lentils and the recurring news of another hole worn through the elbow of another of Zeb's shirts. I've spent so much of my energy in the last few months shopping for a stainless steel refrigerator that I'll never get to use and creating a legally binding lease and worrying if we will survive that I didn't have much left over. In addition we've decide to rethink our life direction, because that's always a fun thing to do. Philadelphia and that shiny English and Publishing degree might be out for me. I'm considering more down to earth degrees (ones that might land me a money job instead of a hobby job). Zeb is considering a career that could send us anywhere in the U.S. At the moment we have no idea what we'll be doing or where we'll be in six months.  For a seven year plan gal like myself that is stressful. It's also probably very good for me. 

Memorial Day weekend was wonderful.

We had cookouts and we went to the beach.

And we made stuff.

I felt my many month headache begin to melt away. Three days away from the brain dead-ness that work requires gave me hope that I might be able to clear out these cobwebs and get my game back. Making stuff helps, so I'll be doing more of that and posting progress here. Cooking helps and I'm always doing that (loving Thai Style Chicken and Rice Soup, Axon's Lentil Salad, Black Bean Quinoa Salad, and Orangette's Meatballs). Not giving myself goals helps. Not writing much. 

Living in the moment is so difficult sometimes. But I'll try my darndest because really, in spite of myself, these moments are not so bad. They're actually quite wonderful if I can just let them be.